Announcement and Excitement

We're having another baby.

I've know since July 28th.

At first I wasn't sick, so I was worried. I had three blood tests and an ultrasound to show that YES I am pregnant with a sweet baby in the proper place.

Now fast forward to morning sickness. Its bad again this time. I have had two trips to the ER this week for fluids.

First trip to the ER the doctor said I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (really bad morning sickness) and Jaundice. They did tons of blood tests and a complete ultrasound of my organs. Everything looked good on the ultrasound, but my bilirubin count was elevated. They said that all the tests said I wasn't that dehydrated, so they were concerned about the cause of all of the problems. They put one bag of fluid in me and sent me home with new medication for the nausea.

Two days later I went for a follow up appointment with my midwife. She was concerned at how I looked and sent me back to the ER. She had an internal medicine doctor do an exam on me. He decided I did not have jaundice, I did not have a liver of gall bladder problem and that I was simply dehydrated. He had the nurses put two bags of fluid in me and sent me home with a third medication for nausea. He also left standing orders to fill me with two bags of fluid whenever I show up. He suggested I come in 3 times a week until the morning sickness is over. A bag of fluid seems to keep me functioning for one day.

I am trying to eat as much as I can, even with the vomiting. Drinking is also a problem, but I'm putting as much down as I can stomach. Its been an interesting few weeks. Darren and the boys have been paying the price for Mom being out of commission. They waited in the van for 4 hours, twice this week. THANKS HONEY!!

I'm glad to say that my sister is considering coming out to help for a month. Dad will probably bring her out for us. What a blessing to have such a charitable family!!!

We are excited about the baby, but not so excited about me being sick again. Such is life huh?

BABY ETA - APRIL 6TH

Beep, Beep

It's late at night, just after 11 PM. I've had a bad day. I feel like crap. I am feeling sorry for myself. I can't seem to shut down my mind and yet I'm exhausted. Too many thoughts, too little me to process them. Will the day ever end? Will tomorrow be better?

BEEP, BEEP

I hear it in the distance. It's like a beacon in a storm. It calls out once and yet it lingers.

I'm sure you are wondering what went beep, beep. Its a watch. It has no band to keep it on my wrist. It doesn't technically belong to me, but its mine. It beeps every hour, 10 minutes after the hour according to my other clocks. Sometimes I hear it, sometimes I don't.

The watch belonged to Mark. It was in his pocket when he died. It beeped every hour in his pocket all night long. No one heard it, no one. I was given the watch and his wallet and most of the things that were on him when he died. So I suppose its mine now.

What does a person do with a watch you can't wear? I placed it on my desk, where it has been for two years now. At the suggestion of my mother, every time I hear the beep, beep I say a Hail Mary for Mark. I spend a LOT of time at my desk or at least in the school room. You'd think I'd hear it often, but I don't. When he first died I heard the watch every hour all day long. The pain was raw, it was so new. I needed something to help me get through the day without driving myself mad. The watch was just what I needed. Those Hail Marys were medicine to my wounds.

Why don't I carry the watch in my pocket? Now, two years later, I only hear the watch maybe once or twice a day. It doesn't even bother me I don't hear it or carry it because life is happening. Dirty diapers, loads of laundry, dishes and of course boys everywhere. I don't want to hurry through a Hail Mary while changing those diapers or washing the dishes. I want to hear the beeps when its time. When life has calmed and quieted, when I'm not being hurried.

Last night I heard the beeps. I calmed and I relaxed and everything seemed so much better. I said a Hail Mary and it was medicine for my wounds. I smiled and tried to sleep again. It must have worked.

Now its almost 10 AM and I haven't heard the beeps again. Life...sure does get busy at times. That's good...I won't have time to dwell on the fact that two years ago today was the last time I saw Mark's body. I can relive that day like it was yesterday, but I choose not to. I choose to live today, the dirty diapers, the dishes and all the boys everywhere. The watch reminds me I choose to live today, without forgetting the past. Thanks Mom for the watch, for the Hail Mary idea and for Mark.

Zoo times Two

We took our "zoo" to the nice family zoo about 5 miles from our house earlier this month. It was a great time as we had along some friends from church. The boys were excited about the baby hippo that just moved in and of course the alligators were a big hit. They even got to pet baby lemurs, an albino skunk and a young fox. Of course, my camera ran out of batteries after only a handful of pictures. Typical. We will be going back there later this month with another family. If I remember we will take pictures then too.

Brech loved the goats and the goats would have loved some of Brech's snacks.
One of the bears we saw. They have a quite a few bears for us to see.

Hot and Cold

Two days ago Darren brought home two window A/C units for our house. He installed them before he went to bed and all was well. The next morning he said he would like to see how much of the house they can cool down, so leave them turned near 70 degrees. Let me tell you - THEY WORK! We were all cold most of the day. In fact, I turned them to 75 degrees because Blase was complaining about being too cold. The day before we were sitting in 85 or higher degrees in the house and the next day its 71 degrees. Even last night I was sitting with a blanket because I was cold. Darren finally turned it to 73 for the night, thanks dear!

Here is a great example of the differences between Darren and I. Last night I slept with long sleeves, long sweat pants and two blankets. Darren slept in a tee shirt, shorts and no blankets. Same room, same temperature around us - I was freezing and he was roasting. Typical! Too funny!!

I have to admit though, I am pleased the humidity is gone from the house. It was getting bad. I am missing having the doors open all day and hearing the sounds of nature. I may have to turn the A/C off when the weather cools down a bit, like to 75 degrees. :)

Can't please us...too hot or too cold. No happy medium I guess.