Peaceful Happiness

A few nights back....

A beautiful thought entered my mind, calmed my emotions, and filled my heart with love.  It was the idea of holding two newborns on my chest just after birth.  That moment after delivery when all the doctors and nurses have left the room, all is quiet, and its just you and the baby.  This is the moment when the love of the mother is transferred to the baby without interruption.  I pondered this moment I have shared with all my children.  It's a beautiful, precious moment.  This is the time when the father should feel envious.  As I imagined TWO babies to love and cuddle at that moment the overwhelming feeling of love put every fear to rest.

Then I thought about the birth, the nursing, the 18 years of child rearing - and the fear somewhat returned.

Fast forward to today - 

The fear is gone once again.

All it took was an ultrasound showing me two sweet babies, two sweet, beating hearts, and TWO sacs.  God did indeed bless us.  God is indeed taking care of us.

My potential higher than high risk pregnancy just became high risk only because it's twins.

for reference purposes - Baby A is who is lined up to be born first.

 Baby A - measured 11 weeks, heartbeat 168

 Baby B - measured 10 weeks 6 days, heartbeat 168

 (you can see the top of Baby A's head right next to Baby B)

Our two blessings together.  

Since they are not in the same sac they are not identical as was thought with the first ultrasound.  This means they could be both girls, both boys, one girl and one boy.  That really complicates the naming process.

So far they look great and were moving around like little 11 week babies should.  Garsh, I sure love these little ones!

Finally done

As of this week I am done with the blood tests for the tubal pregnancy. It took 2 months and blood tests every other week to finally get to 1 (should have been zero) on my HCG hormone level. I am glad to know there is no danger of the piece of the placenta turning into a tumor - ITS GONE!! I am so blessed! God has taken care of me yet again.

Be careful what you wish for

I was just commenting to Darren about the fact that him and I had not had a true date, by ourselves, in over a year. That's a long time. With five boys that are far too full of energy, its hard to find a babysitter. I have to admit we really haven't tried to find one, so we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Back to the "be careful what you wish for"....

Sunday morning, during church, I started experiencing horrible pains in my belly. I thought it was gas. Darren rushed me to the ER because I couldn't walk or move without crying. I made mention to Darren that we were having a "date" of sorts and all we needed was some food and a drink. We had planned to go out for a quick drive-thru supper after the ER visit.....BUT...after a couple hours in the ER we were informed I was pregnant. Yippee right??!! Well...it didn't go so well.

The PA who was my dr. had my blood checked, all looked good so he was going to send me home. By this point the pain had lessen dramatically, so he had "forgotten" about it. It was then decided I should have a quick ultrasound to make sure it was all ok. That quick one didn't find anything, so they had a longer one done by an ultrasound tech.. After 5 hours in the ER, we were told I had a tubal pregnancy. It was a shock to say the least. I was immediately prepped for surgery and by 8 PM I was under.

The surgery went great and recovery was ok too. I don't remember any of it. Ha ha, those are some good drugs!! I was informed by my dr. that the tube had already ruptured before surgery and it had ruptured into my stomach. He also said it hadn't ruptured that day, but awhile ago. I didn't even know it was physically possible to have that happen and not have pain or die from internal bleeding. They did take out my left tube and all seems ok. I do have to have my blood tested until the pregnancy hormone level reaches 0. He does not know if they were able to retrieve all of the placenta since it had ruptured into my stomach. There are rare cases where it will attach itself to something else (stomach, intestines) and start to grow. Having my blood tested is the only way we will determine if all is well. I am still able to have more children according to the dr. and he sees no reason why it wouldn't happen sooner than later. I am happy to hear that.

I am sore from surgery, but as well as can be expected. I feel great emotionally and physically. God is good and my faith in Him has not faltered. I knew I would be ok and I know my baby is in a great place right now. I have considered naming the baby. I have had a miscarriage in the past, but never named that baby. I thought it would be fitting to name the first baby Patience and this one Faith. I remember feeling like I would love to get pregnant sooner than later after the miscarriage, but patience was a good thing too. This time my faith has been stronger than ever. Both names will be a great reminder to me in future pregnancies...I need patience and faith!

I must say...between H1N1 and this...I'm ready for a healthy, quiet rest of 2009.