First First

1 first adj : preceding all others as in time, order or importance

2 first n : 1 : number one in a countable series 2 : something that is first

First.

First bike
First car
First date
First kiss
First baby
First house
First anniversary

Who doesn't keep track of firsts? Who doesn't do something special on your first anniversary or First Holy Communion? How about your first successful batch of cookies when you are a kid? We always make a big deal out of our children's first birthday. We live in a world that honors firsts as accomplishments.

There are ugly firsts as well. First death in your immediate family (which for me was my brother Blase when I was five). First anniversary of the loved ones birthday without them. Christmas...first year of their death. When Mark died I know my family, myself included, kept track of firsts. He died in August, so right away a month later we had our first birth in the family (Brech's) and then my family started school without him, then Thanksgiving and his birthday the first part of December. Then came the first Christmas. The first sod season without him in a tractor or on the harvester. Our first family picture without him. And so on.

I have kept track of firsts in regards to Mark's death. Important times - like the first anniversary of his death, the first visit to his grave after he was buried. I also kept track of the silly things - the first time I didn't make it up to his grave when I was in South Dakota and other comparable times.

I just realized three nights ago that I missed a first last November. The first trip to South Dakota since I have been pregnant again. Silly I know, but just keep reading. You might be thinking - how odd to even worry about the first time returning to South Dakota after being pregnant again. Well, honestly it is odd. I battled with becoming pregnant again because I had myself worried that something was going to happen again this pregnancy. I was eight months pregnant with Brech when Mark died. He was suppose to be the Godfather. Travelling all the way home and mentally, spiritually and physically being there for my family was hard at times. I know people were worried about the baby and me, but I was more worried about them. Now does it make more sense why I would consider being back in South Dakota with another pregnancy as being a first?

It is a first first. I missed a first. I didn't even think about it until lately. What does that say? To me that says one thing:

Maturity

I have matured. I have worked past the firsts. I have moved on and little silly things don't seem so important or so big. This is a point that everyone needs to come to. This truly feels like the final step in grieving. Its taken me this long to get to the point where a first doesn't make me cry, but instead makes me smile. A first first! When I realized it I smiled. YES - SMILED!!!

I cannot credit myself with this maturity. It is a precious gift given to me by God, delivered to me when I needed it. Our Lady has never failed to hold me when I was downhearted. My angel has always been there to direct me away from worthless worry. All of those have gotten me to this point of maturity. What a beautiful and calming realization - God is in control, God has never left me to my own feeble attempts at finding peace in my heart and God will continue to mature me one problem, one step, one first at a time.

In Honor of Our Lord's Baptism

Yesterday we honored Our Lord's baptism. The boys did an activity with a picture of their baptism and recalling the date. I thought you'd like to see some pictures of the boys on their special day. Also, you can see how Darren and I have aged over the years.

Blase Keith Gerard

baptized on July 29, 2001

in Rapid City, SD by Fr. Valentine Young, OFM

Godparents - Dirk Bestgen and Cecilia Lang

Cecilia, me, Blase and Darren, Dirk
.

Stephen George

baptized April 27, 2003

in Princeville, IL by Mons. Richard Soseman

Godparents - Rob and Susan Bestgen

proxy Godparents - Ralph and Bernadette Moebus

Stephen being dedicated on the altar.

Ralph, Bernadette and Stephen, Mons. Soseman, me and Darren

Stephen with his Godparents, Rob and Susan, the following Christmas.

Cormac Michael

baptized January 5, 2005

in Green Bay, WI by Fr. Jean Marie Moreau

Godparents - Jay and Lori Fameree

Jay, Lori and Cormac, Fr. Moreau

Cormac, myself and Darren

Rex Howard

baptized July 5, 2006

in Sturgis, SD by Fr. Arnold Kari

Godparents - John Bestgen and Naomi Hambek

Rex loved the water.

Naomi, me, Rex with Fr. Kari, Darren, John

Isidore Brech Earl

baptized September 28, 2008

in Green Bay, WI by Rev. Fr. Denis Buchholz

Godparents - Adam Bestgen and Mauri (Bestgen) Sobotka

Brech actually was part of a double baptism with another little baby boy. Brech, Mauri and Adam

Darren, myself with Brech and Fr. Buchholz

Boring

I have not neglected posting for a change...I have nothing to post! I tried to think of anything neat that we have been doing, but we have been fairly low-key and non-exciting.

Blase had a dentist appointment yesterday. His tooth hasn't come in for almost a year. We noticed last week that the gum where his tooth is had turned a dark purple, almost black, color. Scared us into thinking there were major problems. It didn't even bother that silly boy. So, after a $97 charge, the dentist said it is normal and not to worry. So, we are doing the waiting game until it comes in.

Darren only has the trim around the windows left in our bedroom. We are both enjoying the bold color (Baked Beans) and pleased with the new carpet. As soon as the trim is up I will take pictures and post them.

Today the boys have haircuts and I have an OB appointment. I need to get groceries afterwards. So, as you can see we are B-O-R-I-N-G.

On a happy side note - Christmas, turned New Years, newsletter is completed and being printed out today. They should be in the mail soon. :)

I will try to come up with a more creative, worthy of your reading post one of these days. I am hoping for some minor excitement sooner or later. If not..I will just have to think...think....think.

Husbands are GREAT!

So yesterday I created a minor issue. I was doing laundry, like any good housewife does. It was just like any other load - wet clothes into the dryer, clean out lint, OH NO - ahhh! There was a small fall themed window cling that had not been put away with the others, as it was UNDER some piece of furniture in the basement, sitting next to the vent hole. And OH MAN it fell into the vent and I couldn't get it out. Normally I wouldn't have been too worried. Start the dryer, blow it out - but the dryer wouldn't even start. I was feeling about 2 inches tall, hoping I hadn't ruined it, mentally calculating how much Christmas money I still had left, wishing it was someone else and not me in that situation!

I tried sticking a rope down there with tape on the end thinking it might get stuck on the tape. YAH RIGHT - like something that simple would solve such a problem. Maybe in TV Land?! Then I tried unplugging the dryer, moving the dryer out its spot and vacuuming the exhaust vent in the back. Yet again - NO LUCK! I was at my wits end, not to mention my ever expanding belly kept getting in the way! I was one patience level away from tearing the entire back off the dryer.

Now I have been around my dad when he is fixing things around the house. Its always fine when he's the one who took it apart, but if someone else took it apart - not so fine. I was smart enough to stop before I got too far into making the problem a major one. When Darren came home I batted my best, sweetest eyes at him and admitted I had done something dumb, but tried to fix it. And pointed out that I had not made the problem worse - though I could have.

So he had to take the back off. He had to vacuum the parts off and finally take off the whole vent compartment to get this silly little window cling out. He put it all back together and it worked beautifully!!! Husbands are GREAT!

I took that chance to clean behind the dryer. YUCK! It hadn't been cleaned since the last owners moved out. We moved the washer and dryer in before the movers came with our other things as they were brand new. I suppose Darren didn't think to clean the area before the installers leveled the washer or dryer. I don't even want to look behind the washer! I think it will wait until we remodel that bathroom - if that ever happens!!

Still the fact remains - husbands are GREAT!

Cormac's 6th Birthday

Last year - so odd to say that - Cormac had his 6th birthday on December 28. The boys had a great party with Little Caesars pizza, Dr. Pepper and Star Wars plates, napkins and cups. The treat of the night was having Grandpa and Grandma Bestgen and Loman watch Cormac open his presents via Skype on the computer. They also were able to sing Happy Birthday with us so that was exciting too!

Here is the table set - ready for pizza!
Cormac's goofy face

Opening presents was a long ordeal. He is usually spoiled rotten since his birthday is so close to Christmas. He received many cool things, including these cars.

And a storage box to put them and many more inside.

His favorite Aunt Courtney (his only Aunt Courtney - but hey she's still his favorite Courtney) spoiled him so rotten. This was his and everyone else's favorite gift of the night. SCORE ONE for the favorite Aunt Courtney!

What birthday of Cormac's is complete without a couple of new pairs of "Daddy pants" (Wranglers). He goes through them so fast that he could use two birthdays 6 months apart. He also received two new shirts and some socks. He also has a new set of sheets and comforter to match Rex's that he received on his birthday.

Here is Cormac's birthday cakes. This was from the pan that I received for my birthday. I spent TWO HOURS decorating these little cakes. A labor of love - and only a birthday occasion will bring about another attempt at this!

A side shot of them yummy cakes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CORMAC

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

January prayers updated

It has taken me some time to locate a prayer to match our theme for this month. We are striving for Fortitude this January. I witnessed many opportunities over the past year to practice Fortitude and am sure there will be many more this year. This is a virtue that I had not touched on with the boys prior to this month, so I am sure it will be a worthwhile investment of our time.

Fortitude. I remember learning about the virtues when I was in my early high school years. I can remember bits and pieces of what my parents said that helped to remember a little about each virtue and the parts about Fortitude always come back to "fort". Forts are strong (or should be) and they keep us safe from danger. I am using that example for my boys. What boy doesn't like forts and fighting bad guys? :)

I simplified Fortitude for the boys by saying it is the courage to do what is right, no matter what. We are always presented with chances to choose right or wrong. We all have that one weakness (Facebook games, pop or liqueur instead of water, eating too much, etc.) which slowly takes over our lives and presents problems in other areas. Maybe it affects our productivity or our health. Maybe it makes us less patience or more selfish. We need to have the courage to say "NO, I will do the right thing!" and that why I am focusing on Fortitude for January. What a beautiful way to start a new year with the courage to say NO to the things that drag us down.

You will notice in our new prayer that we are also praying for wisdom. I suppose courage and wisdom do go hand in hand. You can have false courage and warp Fortitude's definition for your own needs. You can stand up for something - but it may be the wrong something. You can speak your mind - but it may be the wrong timing or the wrong words. This is where wisdom helps you determine what courage (Fortitude) truly is. Both Wisdom and Fortitude are among the seven gifts of the Holy Ghost that we receive during the sacrament of Confirmation. God, in His wisdom, knew that we would abuse Fortitude without Wisdom. Fortitude goes much deeper and covers more avenues than I am mentioning - but for little boys this is more than enough!

This month I hope you will find the Fortitude to do what is right and the Wisdom to know what that is. May you grow in grace and show the world who you truly are - a child of God. I pray people will look at you and say, with admiration, "They belong to God no matter what!" May your good example touch the hearts of those in need of God and the those who need a reminder of what being a child of God truly involves! God bless you!!