When I was five years old what was my favorite food or my favorite cartoon character? I can't even tell you. What did I like to wear? No idea. I have vague memories of pets and a few early school memories. It was a long time ago. One thing remains clear in my mind from when I was five years old. In fact, it was thirty-one years ago today. I don't remember very much from before that day thirty-one years ago. I remember this day. I remember the next few days afterwards.
Today is the anniversary of the day our family gained a saint in heaven.
Today is the day St. Blase Robert Bestgen joined the Church Triumphant.
Today is a happy day. We have a saint in heaven. What rejoicing there is in my heart!
Today is a sad day. Thirty-one years of memories that never happened. Thirty-one years of wondering what would have been. Would he be a priest? Would he have married a sweet girl and had a big family? Would he have been the glue that held us together when Mark died? (Yes, he was the glue that prayed and helped hold us together when Mark died!)
I don't remember Blase. I remember situations and other people, but not Blase. I sometimes feel like a part of my childhood was stolen from me. The memories we would have made together would have added so much joy. Some unknown person said, "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever." It is amazing how you can have a sibling die when you are a child and still grow up loving them as though they were there with you every day, making memories together all those years. I love Blase as much as I love all the other brothers and sisters I grew up with.
As a mother, dare I say seasoned mother, I find myself hurting a bit more every year Blase is gone. As a mother I cannot imagine or even want to imagine what it is like to have gone thirty-one years without one of my children.
These are my parents with Blase. So young, so full of love!
My parents are the strongest people I know. They have buried two sons and are not bitter or removed from the rest of their children. God has blessed them with such amazing graces. They are the protective arms that surround us to keep our family together.
My mother wrote the following after Blase died. It was featured in the August/September 1984 South Dakota Right to Life's newsletter.
A Special Purpose
This is Blase Robert Bestgen. His life began sometime in early July of 1983. I will be honest with you when I tell you I had mixed feelings at first because at the time he was to join a sister who was 4 1/2 years old, a brother who was 2 1/2 years old, and another brother who was 6 months old. I wondered how we could afford another baby. I wondered if I could handle four little ones. But there was never any doubt in my mind that he had the right to life.
His father and I formed his body but God formed his soul. What authority do we have to destroy a soul that God has made? What person could destroy one of God's souls when it was so import to him, just benefit their wants? I don't have that answer but I knew that it wasn't my decision to make and had faith all would be taken care of.
Blase Robert was born on March 29, 1984, on his Great Grandmother's birthday. He was little early but strong, healthy, and beautiful. Our three other children all looked different from each other, and Blase sort of tied them all together by having his sister's color of hair, his oldest brother's color of eyes and his other brother's facial features. But he was special, as all babies are, because there was nobody in all the world exactly like him. His soul was his own, like nobody had before him and nobody will have after him. Each soul is rare, and in all rarity there is great value.
We only got to enjoy Blase for 70 days, when on June 7, 1984 the Lord needed him back to fulfill a special purpose. He must have had a job for Blase that no one else could do as well as him. And now we can understand why it was so important that another baby come so soon after the others had come. What a privilege to give the right to life to a soul so needed by its own Creator! How sad it would have been to have destroyed part of the eternal plan.
We don't know what Blase's important job is, but maybe it is to help other babies have the right to life to do their special part in this world and to fulfill their role that our Creator has especially created for them.
Roch and Rita Bestgen Family
Today the kids are celebrating their uncle's entry into heaven with ice cream. Blase is especially blessed to be celebrating his saintly namesake today. It was a great blessing it was to be able to offer my Mass intention for the family today and to beg my sweet brother to pray for us during Consecration.
Today I cried. Today I smiled. Today I shared the story of my brother with my kids. Gianna said it best. "Mom, I miss your brother Blase." "Honey, you didn't even know him." "I know, but I still love him a whole bunch." We do not know him, but we love him all the same. The great thing is, he knows us and loves us with such a complete and perfect love granted only to those who have gained the reward of heaven. It is a comfort to know that I am loved and prayed for without reserve by my very own brother.
St. Blase Robert Bestgen - pray for me, pray for our family, pray for my friends, and pray for all who need your prayers.
Thank you, God, for giving us a saint.
