A few days before Christmas my Grandpa Ingalls died.
I was so heart-broken. I was so mad.
Grandpa's wishes were to be cremated, so they needed to do that sooner than later.
It was decided there would be one chance to view his body before the cremation. There was no way I was going to be able to get down to South Dakota in time. Honestly, it was an understatement that I was mad. I was pissed. I was hurt. I thought some of the most horrible, unkind things. I was being so selfish. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to so bad it hurt. The fact I wasn't going to see him again hurt more than him dying. I was mad at all of the family who got to see him. I was mad we were stuck in Fargo. I was mad I had had surgery and that was keeping me from being there. I was mad that the Christmas presents weren't wrapped. I was just mad.
I lost count of the deep breaths I took.
I tried to think about the good memories.
Nothing helped until I tried two of the new essential oil blends doTERRA offers - Peace and Forgive. It was only minutes after applying both of them to my wrists that the anger left me and calm took hold of me. I was a changed granddaughter.
I was fine.
I was better than fine.
I was at peace and begged forgiveness from God for the things I thought.
The following week they had a memorial service for him. I didn't even feel the need to be there, though I knew it would have meant a lot to everyone to have us there. It would have meant everything to me to be there.
For those of you who don't know my Grandpa I can sum it up in one sentence.
Grandpa was a hard-working, humble, quiet man whose generosity knew no end. I only remember him raising his voice once and it was as loud as most people normally talk. When he spoke you needed to listen because the humor and wisdom was worth your time. He was a treasure.
Last week Grandpa's death became reality to me.
We received the most amazing care package from my mom in the mail. She said she was sending a little something for each of the kids and me that belonged to Grandpa. I knew a couple of the items, but not all of them. I wanted this to be special for the kids so we had a little "opening of the presents" ceremony so everyone could see what the others received.
Rex Howard opened his present first, since he is named after Grandpa.
It was a coffee mug with "Howard" one it and a variety of pens Grandpa had been given.
Rex, being as sweet as he is, said he wished Grandpa was still alive so he could ask him where he got all those nice pens from (they were just free ones from banks and dealerships). He was so excited and I could tell he thought that it was a big deal and honor to be getting something so special.
Next to open was Blase.
A new wallet for Blase to use. He was also honored and excited.
Brech was given a small charm that read, "#1 Grandpa".
This kid is a treasure. After I read him what was written on the charm he said he would keep it until he was an old man and then he would give it to his children and them it was special. Yes, Brech, it is special and I'm glad you think so.
A cool looking spoon with a kangaroo on top for Gianna.
There were a few hilarious guesses as to what it was when she opening it. No one guessed a kangaroo spoon.
Cormac's gift was a brand new deck of cards. He was so worried it was too special to open, but I have assured him that Grandpa would have wanted him to play with them (and take care of them).
Stephen just added something AMAZING to his stamp collection.
The big question remains - why was this in Grandpa's dresser?
Grandma does have a collection of these, having worked for the Post Office for so long.
I guess one made it to Grandpa's dresser JUST for Stephen.
Happy twinnies were given handkerchiefs from Grandma Ingalls.
They are used as baby blankets, slept with most nights, and cried over when we can't find them.
They are treasured as much as can possibly be.
My present was perfect.
Humble and simple like Grandpa was.
It was filled with sweet things, like this picture of me at 1 1/2 years old.
He sure did love us grandchildren.
Inside was a cute Valentine I had sent Grandpa.
There was also a picture of Grandma - his one true love.
Mom also included this receipt.
This receipt sums up what Grandpa was. Remember when I said, "Grandpa was a hard-working, humble, quiet man whose generosity knew no end," earlier in this post? This is proof of that.
This receipt is dated just after my brother Blase had died from SIDS.
It was the cost of the ER visit from the day he died.
You have to understand that my parents were very poor then. There was no way they were going to be able to pay for that without being quite creative (yes, I was cute, but they couldn't sell me - really). Grandpa knew that and so he paid that bill. He never told Mom how much it was, just that it was taken care of. He paid it and tucked the receipt away. Humble, generous, quiet...that's how Grandpa was. This is of one of my most treasured possessions now. It really does represent everything I love about Grandpa and everything I want my boys to be when they grow up. This is an example of charity at its finest.
A kind, generous man went home to Our Lord.
A kind, generous man left behind a legacy that needs no words.
Grandpa - I love you.
Gosh, we were all so stinkin' cute then.
