A Tearful Moment

Last week I was chatting with a friend on Facebook.  She asked if there were rocking chairs in heaven.  I told her I thought every good mom and grandma had a rocking chair and they were rocking all the babies that were lost to miscarriage or abortion.

Later that night I thought about my Grandma Bestgen.  She would be sitting up in heaven with her rocking chair, crocheting blankets, and talking to her mother (who would also be crocheting).  Grandma would have put down her hook and yarn to rock all the babies that have been lost in our family.  Somehow the thought of my little lost babies being rocked by Grandma made me feel better.

I cried a tear of happiness to think of such a place is waiting for me.

I thought how Grandma would have been beyond tickled to hear about the twins.  She would have made them matching blankets and suggested names.  She would have checked up on me often and prayed every day.

I cried a tear of loneliness because for the first time I had something to share with Grandma and I couldn't.

I pondered the advice Grandma had shared with me about the things she thought she did wrong when it came to raising her own children.  She suggested I play more with the kids, worry less about the condition of the house, and hold those babies close while they are still little.

I cried a tear of thankfulness for such wise words, especially now.

Then I just cried because pregnancy does that to a woman.

When I had cried the last tear I could muster (I was dehydrated) - I smiled because my grandma is watching out for me.  She's on my side and asking God to send me graces to get through this.  That matters more than anything.  I would like to think she was the first to know, along with Mark, about these sweet babies.

I am blessed.