The Happiest Saddest Picture

Darren took this picture with his cell phone while I was in ICU.  I had just had the ventilator removed not too long before this was picture was taken.  I was miserable and in a fair amount of pain.  Those were very good signs as I was alive.  For the record, it is about the saddest looking picture of me out there.

This is the first time I was able to hold my babies.  They were 12 hours old at this point and had just "gotten" their names.  This is one of the happiest pictures of me out there.  I have never been so grateful to hold one of my children, let alone two of them, than at this time.

It still brings tears to my eyes to think of my babies (all of them) growing up without their mommy.  I don't know if God could bless me more than He did that day.  It will be one of the best days and worst days of my life.  I hope I never forget the pain and the joy I experienced.  I pray I never forget to thank God for the memory of both as often as I can.