So once upon a time, in a garage far, far away from adult supervision, on a not so cold day in December, there gathered eighteen boys from the age of seven to the age of sixteen. They came from Minnesota, they came from North Dakota. Some bummed rides from generous mothers of friends known to them. Others tagged along with their amazing moms to this party hoping for fun times in store for all. They were promised a feast of pizza, pasta, salads, casserole, desserts, and apple cider. The party started in the evening half past the eighteenth hour of the day. Tall and short, reserved and hyper - they all came with one purpose - DESTROY THE OTHER TEAM WITH DARTS!!!
The team captains picked their men, brought their teams together, developed a plan, and collected their ammo. The Boss Lady, that's me in case you didn't figure that out, called the men to take their stance...then five....four....three...TWO....ONE!!!!! You have never seen such skill, heard such a roar, and felt such excitement as those boys started the most epic dart gun battle the land of Gebes Garage had ever seen. There was little one could do to avoid the darts. The Boss Lady called "Civilian!!!" many, many times during the evening.
There was a brief resting period where the men of Team A and the men of Team B met in "no man's land" for cookies, cake, and cider. The Boss Lady had barely escaped the land of Gebes Garage and crossed the threshold into the Land of Moms before the battle commenced once more. In the end there was no clear victor, but many, many happy and exhausted men. There is talk of bringing the families together again in the summer for a just as epic water gun fight. Other activities provided to entertain the troops included Legos, games, and a movie with popcorn. Many of the troops decided to not desert their posts, but remained in the battle until the bittersweet end of the night.
The men retired to their homes, well-fed and well-pelted, complete with a parting gift bag from The Boss Man and Boss Lady. Each gift bag contained a Mad Libs book, a religious pencil, a laminated holy card with a prayer to the Christ Child, a bookmark with The Boss Lady's favorite poem, "Send Your Angel to Holy Mass", and another bookmark with an idea to improve their characters.
The battlegrounds were lit with amazing spectacles of light and candy.
Training commenced prior to the battle with a few of the families and nothing but Christmas lights to guide their bullets.
Beautiful, if I do say so myself.
No, no, you may not climb up there for sniper duty. NO snipers allowed!
So, what is our plan, men?
The forts were heavily fortified with totes, boxes, the occasional car seat, and one kennel.
The Battle of the Eight Families was epic!
RUN, run for your life!!
You have to admit - you are a little jealous aren't you?
I was told I won the "Mother of the Year" award, so the rest of you lovely ladies can just relax and take the rest of the year off. I found out a few things - 1. I can still yell louder than eighteen boys. 2. Prepping for a party is hard work, but so worth it when everyone leaves happy. 3. I was meant to raise boys, even if I don't always believe it. 4. A threat of push ups if you break the rules must be a great deterrent because there was not one problem reported that night.
The lesson you should have learned from this - don't miss one of our "epic" parties in the future.
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