Gasp - back in February I attended a mini-retreat with some of my homeschooling mommy friends. These pictures have been waiting and begging to be posted.
When my friends, Karla and Kristin, said they were planning a homeschool mother's retreat at a convent not too far from here - I literally jumped with excitement. February is such a dreary month for homeschool mothers. You've lived through the holidays. You've gotten the kids started on the second half of the year. You've played every card and begged with every ounce of your being to get the kids back into the groove of school. You've wondered for the hundredth time if you have made the best choices for your children's education. You've threatened to call the school bus to pick up the kids in the morning at least a dozen times a week. Please tell me I'm not the only one who goes through this homeschool battle every February!
I needed a break.
I needed silence.
I needed breathing room.
I needed the Lord.
I needed friends.
I needed tears.
I needed laughter.
I needed meditate.
I wasn't disappointed.
The retreated started Friday evening and lasted until Sunday morning.
I didn't take pictures Friday evening. During the first session, "The Homeschool Mom Who Doesn't Exist", they had asked me to read an article that was published in Family Magazine. You can read the article here - The Homeschool Mom Who Never Existed. If you read the article you will find that having me read this article was kind of ironic. I am "that" mom who does a lot of the things which the perfect, non-existent mom supposedly does. The rest of the weekend I was referred to as "The Pinterest Mom" at times.
Our Bible verse for that session was Isaiah 41:10 - Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. That evening we had some private journaling time during which we explored what we thought it meant to be successful or what we would do to be a good parent. Then we journaled about how God see us as individuals, us as parents, and us as homeschooling moms. It was very enlightening. I was able to visit the Blessed Sacrament and offer a rosary for my family and friends. What a blessing to have the Blessed Sacrament available 24 hours a day. It was so comforting to sleep knowing I was just down the hall from the chapel and Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.
Saturday morning we began our day with morning Mass with the sisters. I witnessed one of the most beautiful sights during Mass. Most of the sisters are older sisters who are in need of nursing home care. They do take great care of the sisters there. One sister had fallen asleep during Mass and when it came time for Communion the sister who brought her Communion had to gently wake her. She asked that sweet nun if she wanted to take Communion. With the most intense love in her voice and excitement, the other sister replied, "Yes." I wanted to cry. Oh to have such intense love for Our Lord that even from across the room someone else can hear and feel that love! It was touching and will always stay with me.
When Mass had finished we had a yummy breakfast together. They fed us well for every meal. After breakfast we started our first session for Saturday.
Our Bible verse for that session was Isaiah 41:10 - Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. That evening we had some private journaling time during which we explored what we thought it meant to be successful or what we would do to be a good parent. Then we journaled about how God see us as individuals, us as parents, and us as homeschooling moms. It was very enlightening. I was able to visit the Blessed Sacrament and offer a rosary for my family and friends. What a blessing to have the Blessed Sacrament available 24 hours a day. It was so comforting to sleep knowing I was just down the hall from the chapel and Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.
Saturday morning we began our day with morning Mass with the sisters. I witnessed one of the most beautiful sights during Mass. Most of the sisters are older sisters who are in need of nursing home care. They do take great care of the sisters there. One sister had fallen asleep during Mass and when it came time for Communion the sister who brought her Communion had to gently wake her. She asked that sweet nun if she wanted to take Communion. With the most intense love in her voice and excitement, the other sister replied, "Yes." I wanted to cry. Oh to have such intense love for Our Lord that even from across the room someone else can hear and feel that love! It was touching and will always stay with me.
When Mass had finished we had a yummy breakfast together. They fed us well for every meal. After breakfast we started our first session for Saturday.
This is my beautiful friend, Kristin!
She is a precious lady who makes happiness look so easy.
Kristen offered us a session called "Refresh". The Bible verse for this session was Matthew 11:28 - Come to Me all who labor and are weary and I will give you rest.
Kristin told us a bit about her family.
Kristen has eleven kids, including a set of twins. It is nice to have another mommy with twins in my circle of golden friends.
Kristin gave us some practical ideas to refresh ourselves, including deep breathing, sleep, self-talk, praying, balancing our lives, quiet time, being intentional with our words and actions, and avoiding overstimulation of our eyes (like too much computer, etc.). The most powerful thing she mentioned came from a priest she knew. He had told her, "You could do everything you're doing now more perfectly and God wouldn't love you any more than He loves you right now." Wow.
During the journaling session that followed Kristin's talk we considered how much we actually accomplish in a day. How long we had been pregnant/nursing. How many diapers we've probably changed. The list was intense when we actually thought about it. We also considered the wisdom we have gained through all these experiences. We journaled about what we would have shared with our younger self if we had the chance. We also journaled about what we would say to ourselves if we were 80 years old looking back at us in the midst of our struggles right now.
We also journaled about what we do to refresh ourselves. It was very good for me to look at what actually does help me to renew my sanity. I needed to see that, removed from the hustle and bustle of home, I can see glimmers of peace and renewal at home. A good book, a long bath, a quiet nap...all ways I renew myself for the next day or task.
We finished up the morning with a couple of small group discussions. We gave each other ideas on how to renew ourselves. I gained a few ideas that were very helpful. We also discussed ways to find humor in the chaos of our lives. That was a fun discussion. I liked hearing the stories about how other families have fun. Lots of smiles and laughs were shared.
Kristin gave us some practical ideas to refresh ourselves, including deep breathing, sleep, self-talk, praying, balancing our lives, quiet time, being intentional with our words and actions, and avoiding overstimulation of our eyes (like too much computer, etc.). The most powerful thing she mentioned came from a priest she knew. He had told her, "You could do everything you're doing now more perfectly and God wouldn't love you any more than He loves you right now." Wow.
During the journaling session that followed Kristin's talk we considered how much we actually accomplish in a day. How long we had been pregnant/nursing. How many diapers we've probably changed. The list was intense when we actually thought about it. We also considered the wisdom we have gained through all these experiences. We journaled about what we would have shared with our younger self if we had the chance. We also journaled about what we would say to ourselves if we were 80 years old looking back at us in the midst of our struggles right now.
We also journaled about what we do to refresh ourselves. It was very good for me to look at what actually does help me to renew my sanity. I needed to see that, removed from the hustle and bustle of home, I can see glimmers of peace and renewal at home. A good book, a long bath, a quiet nap...all ways I renew myself for the next day or task.
We finished up the morning with a couple of small group discussions. We gave each other ideas on how to renew ourselves. I gained a few ideas that were very helpful. We also discussed ways to find humor in the chaos of our lives. That was a fun discussion. I liked hearing the stories about how other families have fun. Lots of smiles and laughs were shared.
Karla was demonstrating how many of the veggie straws she can get in her mouth. Epic.
We had together for every meal in the room next to the sisters' cafeteria. There was another group on retreat that weekend. You can see them in the far corner of the picture. They were day care providers so we chatted with them about a few things before and after our meals. Aren't homeschooling moms day care providers in their own homes? ha ha
Our afternoon sessions started with Sister Dorothy giving us a talk on how God sees us. She had one of the most beautiful talks I have ever heard. What a wonderful, insightful woman!
Sister Dorothy had many good points. She said that God just wants our best and to be human is a blessing. She quoted St. Ignatius of Loyola, "We are loved sinners." She pointed out that the ability to think and make choices is the most precious gift from God. He knows we can't be perfect and He can't even make us perfect because only He is perfect. She challenged us to ask for God's grace to be what He wants us to be, not what we see in someone else. Sister Dorothy also suggested that when we read the Bible to change any reference of "I" or "you" with our own names. For instance, in Is. 43:17 instead of saying, "I will do anything for you because you are precious in My sight," say, "I will do anything for Karen because Karen is precious in My sight." It was an uplifting experience to read through some of the verses and inserting my name.
After Sister Dorothy's talk, I went to confession and then requested a meeting with Sister Dorothy herself. I needed to talk about a few things that were weighing heavy on my heart and I needed an outsider's point of view. She was so patient and kindly listened to all my concerns. Then she gave me some helpful suggestions, which I have put into action. After the meeting with her I felt so much more calm and relaxed. I felt God calling me to just let it all go and He would take care of me and my family. I came for a homeschool retreat, but left with so much more thanks to Sister Dorothy. I cannot wait to return to the convent and tell her how much she helped.
After Sister Dorothy's talk, I went to confession and then requested a meeting with Sister Dorothy herself. I needed to talk about a few things that were weighing heavy on my heart and I needed an outsider's point of view. She was so patient and kindly listened to all my concerns. Then she gave me some helpful suggestions, which I have put into action. After the meeting with her I felt so much more calm and relaxed. I felt God calling me to just let it all go and He would take care of me and my family. I came for a homeschool retreat, but left with so much more thanks to Sister Dorothy. I cannot wait to return to the convent and tell her how much she helped.
Our fourth session, "Refocus", was lead by my other friend, Karla. Karla and Kristin are sisters who both converted to Catholicism as adults. Their respective families are great examples of Catholic youth. It is beautiful to see such strong converts.
Karla's talk was both entertaining and enlightening. She talked about how she works with each of her big kids to keep them on task. They use planners to keep track of their lessons and obligations. Her planner has their meal plan and outside activities all in one spot. She also told us about her chore chart and how she makes sure one kid doesn't have all the cleaning or cooking responsibility while the others run off. Karla also encouraged us to pick only one thing at a time to refocus. Even little things need a refocusing every once in awhile. Some things that may need to be considered could be diet, TV watching, chores, and school goals. It was a great session!
Our journaling time after that was focused on evaluating our schedules, goals, and homeschooling curriculum. It also asked us to take a look at how much work we expect from our children and if maybe we are overworking one or more of our kids because they are the most capable child at the moment. We also honestly examined the "If I could do _____, then it would fix everything," and "I wish I could ________, but I can't," statements. It was enlightening to me when I thought about that last statement. In fact, the three things I wish I could do "better" would be:
1. Get my kids excited about learning again.
2. More visits to the Blessed Sacrament with the kids.
3. Prayer time in the evening could be more consistent and joyfully met.
It was hard to accept the fact that the rest I was doing those things was basically selfishness. I didn't want to spend the time to change the schedule or add more "fun" activities to the already long list of things my day includes. I didn't want to load the kids up in the van and listen to them grumble about having to go to church again that week. (Seriously, kids - we can step foot into a church more than once a week!) And finally, family prayers at night can be so stressful. Patience levels are at the lowest level of the day. The kids fidget. The babies fuss. The parents growl. It just seems less holy than I guess I think prayers should go. I just can't handle it most nights. Morning prayers - piece of cake, joyfully said, normally the kids don't mind. Sigh.
After the journaling session we gathered before the Blessed Sacrament and said a rosary together. It was such a beautiful experience to share our faith with such an important devotion.
During our final session of Saturday we did some "renewing" by being creative. We wrote down quotes or affirmations to help us renew. It was nice to not be worried about where the kids were going to put the stickers, or if someone was writing on the table. I haven't been creative like that in a long time.
We also ate some wonderful desserts and stayed up talking to all hours of the night. It was renewing!
Sunday morning we gathered together again for our last session. It was just a "chat" about what we had learned and if we wanted to have another retreat next year. I am so glad we were able to do this retreat and I am sure next year's will be even better.
We ended our retreat with Mass with the sisters. Such beautiful souls!! What a lovely way to wrap up our quiet weekend. I felt refreshed, refocused, and renewed. I guess the retreat was a success!
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