The Post I've Been Contemplating

Once in awhile life gets flipped upside down and the world comes crashing down.

Once in awhile you end up wondering if God realizes you are struggling, barely above water.

Once in awhile you just have to let everything go and ride the wild roller coaster called life.

Then you take a deep breathe and say a prayer.

In those moments after prayer you realize the world is actually just the way it was suppose to be,

God never abandoned you, but instead was holding you very closely to His heart,

and letting everything go is a very healthy spiritual exercise.

Exactly one year, to the day, that Darren started working on the ranch his dad decided partnering with us was not what he wanted after all.  We were instructed to get off his place within six weeks.  This was unexpected and unbelievably painful for each one of my children.

I won't tell you what's on my heart, in my head, or on my lips.  This will be the first time that I cannot give all the raw, truthful details.  One - because it hurts too much.  Two - because while it wasn't fair to our family, we do not want pity.  We gladly accept prayers and well wishes.  Three - because I do not want to throw anymore mud at the other side.  What is done is done.  There is no going back.  There is a long road ahead of us before we can heal.

Our mistake was telling the kids that was their forever home and making long-term plans.  These poor kids have left yet another home and more friends behind.  They lost pets and promises of new and exciting adventures.  Worst of all - they lost family.

I could not decide if I wanted to post about this in full detail, in little detail, or not at all.  I think our family has come a long way in healing in a short amount of time.  We have all been living in a camper that comfortably, though crammed, sleeps 10.  We are waiting for God to tell us His plan for us.  We have come together, grown stronger, and made new memories which have helped us to accept this new way of life.

My mother gave us some great advice - 

The what if belongs to the devil and the what is belongs to God.

What is:

We are together.

We are healthy.

We are happy.

We are spiritually being fed.

We have amazing friends who drop everything to help and pray for us.

We have family members who willingly gave up freezer space, bedroom space, and trailer space to help us get moved in the short amount of time we had.

We are blessed.

No one can take all of that away from us.  That is what is.

It was just another chapter in our book.  It was amazing while it lasted.  It taught us many lessons.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

(and get a partnership agreement on paper next time!!!)