Dear Mark,
Where to start? I miss you. I love you. There isn’t a day go by that I don’t think of you or pray for you. Three years ago I learned a valuable lesson about life. I learned to keep those I love closer to my heart. I learned to verbally share that love before it’s too late. I learned that it is possible for the world to come crashing down and yet there is beauty and joy to be found. I learned that sometimes the best healing can come from helping others with their grief.
Three years. Three long years, yet short years all at the same time. You have missed so much.
You have missed the birth of a blue-eyed girl with the sweetest smile ever.
You missed the baptism of your first Godchild. He’s such an active 2 year old. I know you would be so proud to share your middle name with him.
You missed seeing a young boy learn to draw anything from pirate ships to castles. I am certain he would have drawn you a whole collection of pictures.
You are missed by the most tender-heart boy ever. He prays for you every day. His morning offering intention always goes something like this: for Loman, Mark, Kaylene, Shelby, Mark, mom and dad, Mark and the Mark Park. So if anyone forgets, he has them covered.
You have missed the many, many collections of a curious boy. I am waiting to pass on your collection of pennies from Grandma and Papa Bestgen. I am 100% sure it will become his favorite collection yet.
You are missing a young boy learning to serve Mass. He served for the first time at our sister’s wedding, just like you served your first Mass at my wedding.
You missed getting to know the most wonderful man in the whole world. I wish you and my dear husband would have had more time to foster a relationship. You shared many of the same hobbies. I know you could have learned so much from him.
But that isn’t all you have missed. There are many of us in this family.
You should see that oldest brother of yours. He has such love and devotion for his family. He works so hard. You would truly look up to him in every possible way.
His wife is wonderful too. She is a supportive wife, loving mother and extremely fun sister-in-law. I think there is nothing she wouldn’t do for our parents. They are blessed with these in-laws!
You wouldn’t believe how smart their oldest daughter is. She is also a great big sister.
That next one – wow are you missing some of the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes ever. She’d be sure to show you her socks, her pants, her daddy, and everything else.
Have you heard about that new Bestgen boy? He’s a keeper! I’m sure it won’t be long and he will be going to work with his daddy every single day.
You have missed your next oldest brother’s struggles. They seemed to come one right after another. He proved that us Bestgens don’t give up when hard times come. I’m still sure he’d kick your butt in card games though! We all miss you at game time. Tripoly anyone?
What do you think of that next brother and his moto-cross? What a great day when he took first on your bike. Did you know it’s still your bike? Everyone takes their turn now and again.
Then there is his wife. Never have I seen anyone love our family as much as she does. I know she would have become one of your favorite sisters. Our brother is one lucky man!
Their first daughter is learning sign language and so much more. I heard the other day that she can write her name. Can you believe how big she is already?? Such a precious treasure!
The next little daughter is something else! I think her only goal in life is to make her big sister frustrated. Isn’t that what little siblings are for? I sure remember you frustrating me a time or two (times 50). She looks so much like her mommy it’s crazy. Beautiful in every way!
Our next brother has been through so much too. He has carried the weight of losing you and his friend very well. I am so proud of him. He has his wild streak, but who doesn’t. Besides, he probably does most of what he does just to irritate our sister, but he loves her dearly and all of us almost as much.
Speaking of that sister – she is married now. You missed a beautiful, holy Mass. She is such a blessing to her family and friends. I wish you’d send her another message. She knows what I’m talking about.
How wonderful for our family to have a friend become our brother-in-law. You need never worry about him not living his vocation. He is a great husband and a loving father.
Oh, have you seen that beautiful baby girl? She was the last of the trio to be born and the only one to pick Dad’s birthday. She’s special in so many ways. I think I’m a bit partial since she is my Goddaughter.
You have missed that next brother fill your shoes. When he was needed he was there for everyone. He served for you the day after your funeral. That was just the first of many ways. I’m sure you two would find so many things to keep you out of trouble (or in trouble). He’s grown into a man you would be proud to call your brother, your friend.
Hey do you recall that tomboy little sister of yours?? She’s all grown up into a beautiful young woman. It will just be a matter of time before we will have to start beating all the guys away. She misses you. We all miss you, but she really misses you. There are times when I wish I could just reach out and hug her. I know she will be ok since you are praying for her.
Remember that scrawny kid? He stood about this short, give or take an inch. Well, he is growing like a weed. He went to camp this year. I hear he enjoyed it. I’m so glad and I’m sure you are too since you loved going to camp. Give him another year or two and he will be just as great as the rest of our brothers.
Wow, three years can really change a girl. That sister of yours is something else on the volleyball court. You wouldn’t know she is only 11. There are times I think she is 16 or older. She is so pretty. She is such a wonderful aunt too.
That littlest brother of ours is a clown. You’d probably spend most of your day laughing with or at him. He can brighten anyone’s day. He is my boys’ bestest friend. I promise I’ll tell him every story I can remember about you. That way he will feel like he has grown up knowing you. What a blessing God gave me when He placed me first. I have all these memories of all my siblings.
You would be so proud of Mom. I am. Even when it hurts she is there for others. She has this wonderful ability to listen and comfort. When she is grieving you would never know because she is helping others. She has kept this family together with her love and patience. I can’t even begin to understand the pain she must have gone through. She is always quick to point out the line from the Renewal of the Consecration to the Sacred Heart, “We have full and complete confidence in Thee.” She has full and complete confidence and she passes it on with her words and deeds.
I cry tears for Dad. Oh what you have missed. I cry tears of pain for what he has gone through. He carries his cross with such dedication. I cry tears of joy for who he has become. He is the dad I remember from my childhood. I’m not saying he was perfect then or is now, but rarely has there been a better father than our dad. Send him your prayers.
You have missed a lot there is no denying it. We have missed so much of you too. I do not dwell on the what could have beens. I know there is a purpose and a blessing in all God sends our way. Know you have not been forgotten and you are still loved very much. May God bless you (and send some of it our way)!
Love,
Your Big Sister
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